Leaving Community Living

For some BOVA Volunteers living as part of a community is a highlight of the experience. For others it can be the most challenging part. For most people aspects of community life will crop up in both good and bad memories. There are many variables: your personality, other community members, the length of the experience, the openness of the Salesians and so on.  

As part of your debrief process it is important to acknowledge and deal with issues relating to community, considering what you had before and during your placement, what you have now and what you would like in the future.

Questions for reflection

•    As you set off from the U.K., what (and who) did you leave behind?
•    What were your expectations of Salesian Community life?
•    Were these accurate? If not, how did they differ?
•    Did you enjoy being part of a community?
•    What were the best and worst aspects of your community experience during your placement?
•    Who supported you? Who did you support? (including those both at home and at your placement)
•    Who did you miss while you were away?
•    Who do you miss now? Are you attempting to stay in contact?
•    What’s your current living situation?
•    Are you satisfied with this? If not, what would be your ideal situation and how can you move towards this?

Why Community?

What is the search for community about? What is it about that experience of living in community that touches volunteers so deeply that afterwards they are sometimes drawn to look for it? Maybe that sense of belonging, of sharing your life with others in a deeper way is what keeps us searching for a stronger connection with others after we've finished our term of service.

Different models

Community doesn't have to be people living together physically, or mean that you have to be a volunteer, but rather is about living in openness with others, sharing your life with them, holding close to the core, common values you treasure. Communities could be families, parishes, prayer groups, young adult groups, marriages, lay movements, friendship circles, social justice groups and so on. They are hard to define, but once we've found it, we certainly recognise it.

If you’re looking for continuing experiences of community…

1) Know yourself and take your personal interests seriously. When you know what you like, what you are passionate about, then you can look for a community which supports this interest.

2) Try to define what you’re looking for; what is guiding your search (values/ faith/etc.) and what does community means for you?

3) Patience, patience, patience. Finding the right community or building one takes time because trust among individuals takes time; it is a process. Be open to how community evolves.

4) Go out and try something. Get involved. Don’t expect everything to come to you.

5) If you can’t find the type of community you’re looking for, create it! Don’t be afraid to start a group - even if there’s just a handful of you that gathers on a regular basis.

6) Adopt and cultivate an attitude of openness, honesty and trust. Be open and honest about who you are and what you’re searching for and trust that your openness with others will lead to the discovery of fellow searchers.

7) Seek out places and events where there is likely to be an expression of the values closest to you.

8) Practical ways of getting started might include: joining or starting a campaign/social justice/youth/prayer group…finding ways to get involved in your parish or a University Chaplaincy…getting involved with the groups mentioned in Development Issues …part-time volunteering…continued involvement with the Salesian family